deviant ART

*Paperghost:iconPaperghost:

Michelle S.  

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  • Female/United States
  • Invisible
  • Deviant since Jul 30, 2005, 9:41 PM
  • Subscribed until Mar 1, 2009, 5:28 PM
  • 20 Deviations
  • 36 Scraps [browse]
  • 297 Deviation Comments
  • 26 Deviant Comments
  • 35,070 Pageviews

Ugh.. disappointment.

Journal Entry: Tue May 6, 2008, 5:12 PM
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: Star Ocean OST
  • Reading: Star Ocean articles
  • Watching: Star Ocean vids
  • Playing: NOT STAR OCEAN
  • Eating: Chocolate Cake
  • Drinking: Pepsi
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Apologies in advance, I just need to vent a little.. xD;; Prolly will take this down after a while out of embarrassment or something..


Blaaaagghh... Lately life has just been rather consistently... disappointing. And really, it's not anything huge or even all that important. Just a lot of petty things piling up on top of my head every day. (like the Okami contest results, being declined buttermilk at Jack in the Box and the subsiquent amazement at human stupidity, getting a spider bite on my ass, etc etc)

But when I really sit and break it down, this huge feeling of disappointment is probably due to the silliest thing... My obssession with Star Ocean.

So Star Ocean 2 was the very first RPG I ever played, followed very closely by Final Fantasy VII(which I'm also in love with, but that's another story). I know there are many wonderful RPGs that went before them both.. but my only previous console experience was the short while I had an SNES during grade school before my dad sold it after I'd only played a little bit of Super Mario.

Anyway.. so yeah.. I got to play Star Ocean 2 while I was visiting with my favorite cousin who was into video games and had a PS1. I was so amazed.. up until that point I'd never realized that there could be something so inspiring or so beautiful (because at that time I remember being absolutely stunned by the graphics and music, even if they're not fantastic by today's standards). I think I can probably say with some certainty that my entire creative/artistic persona is influenced by that game in some way.

Ok yeah I think that statement might be a little strange, or it might sound silly.. but seriously I'd never really been into art or anything creative really before that. Playing that game opened up so much of my imagination when I was younger.

Up until this very day, I have not played a single game that's even come close to the kind of personal fulfillment I got from SO2 or FFVII. SO3 was kind of disappointing, but that was probably my own fault. My expectation were rather high- I still haven't finished it. Most of the Final Fantasy games I liked, but none of them stuck with me after beating them. I'm kinda depressed when I think that I might never have that kind of emotional attatchment to a game again. No matter how lame someone else might think it is to feel sentimental about something 'silly' like a video game. Back then, the whole video game thing was completely mind blowing due to my youth and limited experience.. but now that it's become so familiar to me, I don't have the same excitement or amazement when I see new games. Sure the graphics are gorgeous but it seems like games are so superficial lately.. the stories have no heart at all.

Er... getting carried away into another subject. So I guess the point I'm trying to make is that I really like SO2. xD;;

And when I heard that SquareEnix was remaking SO1 and SO2 for the PSP I was out of my brain excited. Now both games have been released in Japan and there hasn't been any word about a US release at all. I'm just waiting for that blow to my heart when I hear it won't be released here. And on top of that, there is a Star Ocean PSP that I'll never be able to own because it's $400 (I'd have to import it). I made the mistake of asking some people what they thought of me buying the PSP, and apparently I'm absolutely nuts because it'd be such an obvious waste of money.. Really though? I don't know how I can express my (irrational?) love of that game so that I don't sound dim in the head for honestly being ok with dropping that much money for a PSP. It kind of makes me feel foolish. But for what? How is that any different from people shelling out rediculous sums of money for -any- hobby or whatever their obsession is. Like BJDs (hella $$$) or cars (HELLA$$$)... :/ Why should my obsession with Star Ocean be silly? Or my desire to spend $400 on a sexy limited edition PSP be a waste of money? (And further depression presses in when I think of how long it'd take me to save up for one with how busy I am and the realization that it will probably be unavailable by the time I have enough.)

Anyway... I know this entire journal is pretty out of the blue, and probably very strange xD;; But I'm kind of curious.. Do any of you have similar obsessions or sentimental attatchments? It has always sorta bugged me when people try to belittle someone else's activities or the way they choose to spend their money because it's not mainstream or conventional or practical or whatever. *head desks*

Ok I'm done venting.. @3@;; I feel a little bit better.



Love-list still under construction.



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Thank you to ~KristaDarkAngel and *Jamethial for the subscription donations! ╥3╥
    Love and credit to *rhu for the inspiration for my icon and journal.
    Go visit her, she's full of awesome and kittens, bats? a shark possibly? Er.. Just go look at her gallery 8D;

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 22~
  • Current Residence: I live in the 4ft area around my computer. Srsly.
  • Interests: Digital art, sculpting, video games, reading. *nerd*
  • Favourite movie: The Last Unicorn, LotR, HP, Planet Terror, Advent Children
  • Favourite band or musician: I have a few but.. Japanese: Gackt / American: Cardigans
  • Favourite genre of music: Erm.. mixed.. I don't like rap or country though. BLEG.
  • Favourite artist: Eeeh... A lot. ^^;
  • Favourite poet or writer: Many! Dunno.. I read too much to choose. Mostly fantasy, some sci-fi..
  • Favourite style or digital art: I have a weakness for chibi art and smutty yaoi .__.;;
  • Shell of choice: Turtle 8D
  • Skin of choice: My own~
  • Favourite game: Star Ocean 2, FFVII, Animal Crossing
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2 <3
  • Personal Quote: "Shit, I forgot!"
  • Tools of the Trade: Pencil, Photoshop, OpenCanvas

Devious Comments

*thundercake:iconthundercake: May 7, 2008, 5:56:20 PM
You have a very cute style. Thanks for watching me :)

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Character is who you are in the dark!
~i-luv-Yun-Yun:iconi-luv-Yun-Yun: May 6, 2008, 9:51:46 PM
wow ur work is beautiful! :wow:

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:cheese:Yuki and I both like cheese... Do you like cheese? 0_@ :cheese:

u: u have an unhealthy obsession over Yuki...
me: it's not an obsession!! IT'S A HOBBY!!! D=<
Yuki: =_=; someone help me...
~kuro-tenshi-akito:iconkuro-tenshi-akito: May 5, 2008, 11:56:29 AM
Very beautiful gallery, and might I add, I love your use of a Yuurei Obake. She's so cute! I can picture a little spirit flame with a face as a familiar. >_>

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~ Dewa mata, Akito.
Hidden By Owner
!Slashah-chan:iconSlashah-chan: May 4, 2008, 10:56:24 AMComment hidden by Owner
This comment is hidden and not visible to general public.
~8y7-D2j:icon8y7-D2j: Apr 10, 2008, 7:08:51 AM Mood: Welcoming
Hello there, fellow deviantARTist.:giggle: I discovered your lovely gallery while browsing through another deviant's Favourites, and thought: "Maybe I should 'Watch Paperghost's gallery -now,- instead of ending up kicking myself later, when I can't remember their username!":lol:

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There is no excellent beauty that hath not some strangeness in the proportion.

--Francis Bacon (From Essays "Of Beauty" 1625)

I am Pokemon #333 Swablu in DA's Pokemon Crew
~Professor-Kirby:iconProfessor-Kirby: Mar 23, 2008, 7:29:18 PM
Your use of textures is cool and different!

:+devwatch:

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"I just shot you with a missle!" ~ random kid
"HA! It bounced off!" ~ Thad

Thanks to ~Nimphaiwe for the icon! :heart:
~hana-ai509:iconhana-ai509: Mar 17, 2008, 7:50:13 PM
dA screwed up, it made me unwatch you D:

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Mudkips are WAY better then your mom. You can't deny it.
~Gehkiie:iconGehkiie: Feb 29, 2008, 5:30:04 PM
I want a paper ghost...:heart:

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Past the fog and under the lake...
~death99955:icondeath99955: Feb 28, 2008, 6:57:29 AM
*bows to art*

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"When life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Sell the lemonade and buy yourself an AK-47, or maybe a WMD. THEN see if life decides to throw anything else at you."

"Life is like a salami. Well, no, but you hardly ever find a quote with salami in it."
~AngelFromTheAshes:iconAngelFromTheAshes: Feb 25, 2008, 6:02:39 PM
omg! you're art is gorgeous!!

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~a girl has to be so lost in God, that a guy has to seek Him first to find her~

It were a grand thing, the Beatles. ~Sir Paul McCartney
*Nickle4aPickle:iconNickle4aPickle: Feb 8, 2008, 12:33:42 PM
Hello! This is NickleaPickle from Digis. :D Your art is really awesome, so I think I'll watch you. ^^

See ya around! :wave:

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"Q: Why should you wash your sandwich down with a cold beverage?
A: Well, you could try to wash it down with another sandwich, but that could be hard to stuff in a cup, & even harder to sip through a straw!"
~shimoyo:iconshimoyo: Jan 31, 2008, 10:52:38 AM
*tackles paper*

HAHAHAHAHA

*scoots off*

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MY HAT IS AWESOME
~Araz-the-great:iconAraz-the-great: Jan 30, 2008, 12:43:23 PM
Your art is so amazing
~Izuraye:iconIzuraye: Jan 30, 2008, 11:56:31 AM
i love ur artwork ^^ its so cute ^^

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Cherry Blossoms are more beautiful when the blood of the dead stains the flowers from graves below ~Ushio (The Gentlemen's Alliance)
~alcander:iconalcander: Jan 29, 2008, 8:51:12 AM
you have such a lovely gallery! i especially like your leopard boy with the blue eyes! XD so cute!
~Nevina:iconNevina: Jan 28, 2008, 4:08:53 AM
Lovely gallery, must watch~ :heart:

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:pointr: [link] :frail: [link] :pointl: :ninja:
=saiyagina:iconsaiyagina: Jan 27, 2008, 10:13:23 PM
I really enjoy your art ~:heart:~ *watches*

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Por cada mujer debe haber 3 animales en la casa:
La gata en la cocina
El tigre en la cama
Y el jaguar en la cochera
~NachosNcheese:iconNachosNcheese: Jan 27, 2008, 3:31:10 PM
You have an extremely enjoyable gallery. Beautiful work. :heart:

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"I am Inigo Montoya and I do not accept defeat! You will think of something, I have complete confidence in you." :ohnoes:
=Felicia-Val:iconFelicia-Val: Jan 27, 2008, 12:46:42 PM
i really love your style <33 :love: *watches*

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Zvarri!!
=NaAmor:iconNaAmor: Jan 26, 2008, 8:27:22 AM
:heart: your gallery

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:rzero:││║ █ :rzero:
=Hellexise:iconHellexise: Jan 24, 2008, 7:10:07 PM Mood: Joy
Awesome gallery! Can't wait to see more!

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When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar.
~buttaflychick:iconbuttaflychick: Jan 10, 2008, 11:13:32 PM
your gallery is awesome! It hurts how cute some of your stuff is XD
~ShinySoul:iconShinySoul: Jan 7, 2008, 8:12:12 AM Mood: Wow!
You have amazing artworks! Watch watch! :D
*shishimai:iconshishimai: Jan 2, 2008, 8:48:28 AM
your art makes my happy.
and so do you! cause you're called paper! paper makes me go yay! and wow, i'm making absolutely NO sense, haha...ohdear.

^^;

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"if you stay, i don't need heaven."



:plug: